Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tolerance Begins At Home

...No wonder Canada permits gay marriage. You've all been suckled on the sweet teat of tolerance!

Monday, March 27, 2006

So Maybe Soylent Green Isn't People After All!

...An interesting article from the Globe and Mail:

Scientists can grow frog and mouse meat in the lab, and are now working on pork, beef and chicken. Their goal is to develop an industrial version of the process in five years.

If they succeed, cultured or in vitro meat could be coming to a supermarket near you. Consumers could buy hamburger patties and chicken nuggets made from meat cultivated from muscle cells in a giant incubator rather than cut from a farm animal.

Home chefs could make meat in a countertop device the size of a coffee maker. Before bed, throw starter cells and a package of growth medium into the meat maker and wake up to harvest fresh sausage for breakfast.

Read It

Sunday, March 26, 2006

30 Second Movie Reviews

Thanks to our dear friend Ann Marie Flynn, Laurie and I have a charged-up Blockbuster video card. Sophie usually pops off around 9, so that leaves us with the time to watch a flick.

Unfortunately, I have a long and illustrious history of picking godawful movies. These days, Laurie is the canary in the coal mine. If she drifts off to sleep in 10 minutes, it's not worth watching. That's what happened when we rented "A History of Violence". It was supposed to be worthy of an oscar, but I fail to see why.

If you need to blind Ed Harris in one eye, you're trying too hard.

The last movie I rented was good, and, miracle of miracles, Laurie stayed awake.

If you have a chance, rent "Employee of the Month", one of the greatest dark comedies since "Heathers".

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Get Out With Your Baby

The other night, Laurie and I took Sophie to the cast party. She was passed around more than the hors d'oeuvres tray. When she cried, there was always a set of hands ready to whisk her away. I learned never to underestimate the powerful tug of infant nostalgia. By the end of the evening, more than half the cast was wearing breast milk like a badge of baby-lovin' pride courtesy of my daughter (and indirectly my wife).

A lot of people hesitate to take infants out with their friends and colleagues due to the likelihood of spit-ups, blowouts, and crying fits. For the most part, it doesn't matter. To the parents of an older child, such things are a small price to pay to once again have contact with an infant.

Besides, do you really want to socialize with anyone who doesn't like babies?

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Sunday, March 05, 2006

Get Your Tickets Now

This summer, I played the role of Banquo in the Goderich Little Theater production of MacBeth. I'm currently playing the role of racetrack manager Stan Thurber in Office Hours, a comedy by Canadian playwright Norm Foster.

Here's the press blurb:

"This hilarious play consists of five acts. Each takes place in various offices around town. Each act is a different story, but all are connected by a suicide jumper, week-at-a-glance appointment book, a paperback novel, etc., etc. The surprise ending is sure to bring the house down.

"[A] sparkling little gem of a comedy...Audiences come away grinning" --The Houston Press

Directed by Sally Walker and Maureen Penn

The remaining shows are March 9th, 10th & 11th, at 8pm.

Tickets for the final three shows can be purchased via contacting the Livery ticket office.

Those of you coming from out of town can arrange accomodation at Casa Lindstromo.


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I May Be Getting Bigger, But At Least Bigger Is Getting Smaller

This past weekend, I crossed through a set of doors I vowed I'd never enter.

The Big & Tall store.

I'm not particularly big or tall, but I've found that regular-size socks aren't a very comfortable fit for my size thirteen flippers. They constrict around the ankles, cutting off circulation. In addition, although I fit pretty comfortably in XL shirts, I can never get ties long enough to fit my freakishly long torso. There's always an inch or so of buttons showing above the beltline.

When I passed through the doors of the B&T, years of fear and prejudice conditioned me to expect oversize velour tracksuits and man-moomoos.

What I actually found was that this particular men's store carried all the top brands as well as reasonably-priced alteratives. Their selection and quality was better than any department store I've seen, and the staff was courteous and knowledgeable.

I was surprised to learn that the shirt sizes available started at 16.5, and pants at 36. Shoes started at size 12.

Since my thirtieth birthday, I've packed on about five pounds a year. The trend must stop, and this is the year I'm going to do it, but until the pounds start melting off due to the latest fad diet, it's some consolation that bigger is getting smaller, and that I'm petite as far as the Big & Tall store is concerned.
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